Most often people seeking for love elsewhere from cafes to the Internet hope that their dream of being happy will finally come true. However, the majority of couples, spending happy days or chatting via ICQ, come across the same problem when their unconstrained and free relationship grows into marriage and family life.

The same problem makes many couples divorce in a year or so, while others continue living together but happiness is left and forgotten somewhere in the past. The problem is that couples notice how their love is dispersing, leaving just transparent hints of former passion, commitment and devotion.

“What happens with love after marriage and where it goes?” is a question asked through centuries and by generations of couples, divorcees and those who intend to get married because the need to feel and enjoy romance, passion and love is the need of our heart’s content.

The reasons, of course, are many and vary from family to family. However, the two major reasons of love disappearance are “seasonality” of feelings and wrong expression of those feelings.

What I mean by those two? I think that love is as seasonal as trees, grass and flowers and it is also subject to periodical blooming and fading. For instance, during the first meetings, two people in love enjoy scorching heat of the summer. As years go by, the rainy season starts and if not to make a fire on time, the season of permafrost is likely to set in. Obviously, it is a very hard task to make a fire when the shower does not allow you even to strike a match.

The matter is that the notion of love has been somehow distorted in our consciousness. While it is important to give, we want to receive. When it is high time to help, we refuse (referring to tiredness, pressure of work and other reasons, of course). When we want to be heard, there is no response.

One of the most brilliant statements on love is provided in the 13th chapter of I Corinthians in the Bible. Here is an abstract of that chapter:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (I Corinthians 13:4 - 8)

If one understands or just tries to understand the notion of love in this way, he will learn how to strike a match in the shower.

Furthermore, love understanding and expression of feelings are closely connected with each other. Each person expresses his feelings, emotions and opinions in his own way and, at the same time, we want each other to express all those things in the way we personally do it (because we think this is the only right and acceptable method).

One expresses his love through words of approval, the other shows his feelings by support and help, one likes to give gifts and expects that he reveals his love to the partner, the other feels and gives love through touches and tenderness. At the same time, the person who expresses his emotions through touches, expects the same thing in response. And what do you do? Start washing dishes or giving flowers?

As we do not understand each other and start finding faults instead of merits, the dream of eternal happiness strikes against severe reality and people, who have experienced blissful craziness toward each other earlier, find out several years later that “they are not into each other… love has gone…We were most intimate people earlier and now everything is changed”.

Both of the couple should learn each other’s methods of expressing love and create a kind of balance. In reality, love is a choice of consciousness and demands efforts of consciousness and will to preserve warmth of hearts and intimacy of souls.

Psychologists suggest that before marriage and for some time after it, people feel amorousness, a kind of obsession or temporal emotional splash. As time passes by, euphoria disappears and we turn to reality where we are different and where we do not understand each other at all.

Some couples are at a loss altogether, why and how their marriage could ever take place! From this time, it is important to learn to love using your mind, will, and accept individuality of each other.

Therefore, love does not disappear after marriage, on the contrary, amorousness goes away, and you should start a trip in search of real love that combines choice, feeling and mind. From now on, love is eternal care, attention, respect, generosity, and a great wish to show love and give happiness to the most intimate person in your life.