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 Sometimes people, not only men, prefer staying in the world of virtual communication instead of transferring to phone conversations, although ideal internet dating should include online contact, e-mail messages, phone call and, finally, face-to-face meeting.
Phone call serves as a link between virtual communication and reality. Phone is virtual too, but it is closer to reality than e-mail as it is more personal and allows you to get to know more about the person you communicate with as you can hear the voice, feel the intonation and become aware of his (her) signs of interest.
Moreover, a phone conversation communicates a lot more than e-mail, while your interlocutor doesn’t stares narrowly into your eyes and you can feel relaxed. Phone calls can hasten the moment of in-person meeting because they are more real and gradually draw together online daters. Long staying in e-mail mode can transfer your relationship not into potential love but only friendship.
According to the estimates, many online daters encounter the problems when transferring from e-mail messages to phone conversations, and while one partner does not feel any discomfort about continuing sending e-mails, the other expresses his (her) alarm and ask the question, “Why he (she) does not like phoning me?”
The most frequent cases or problems with phone calls are as follows.
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I call her but she never calls me back;
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Once we changed to phone conversations, but than returned back to sending text-messages because our phone conversations felt somehow tense;
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He calls me and speaks for over 40 minutes every time; therefore, I prefer slipping to e-mail because it is not so time consuming;
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He writes wonderful and affectionate letters but when we speak by the phone, things are different, - there is practically nothing to speak about;
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I would like him to call as often as possible but he is very busy and calls once a week.
Of course, the problem of tense phone conversation when “there is nothing to speak about” may point out at the fact that you are not into her or visa versa. But in many cases, the difference between phone-fashioned people and non-phone people plays major role in putting obstacles to successful transference from e-mail to phone. You may enjoy phoning a person, while your pen pal does not like it because he or she tends to stay in secure zone of virtual world.
What you should do is to learn to differentiate between phone and non-phone people and find the golden mean in your concrete situation. See here why she (he) may not phone you.
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Non-phone people prefer e-mail to phone, because they neither feel ignored when someone on the other end of the line is multi-tasking nor feel pressure, answering questions demanding immediate answer.
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Some people stick to e-mail because it is an impersonal method of communication and less meddlesome way to keep in contact. These people may be either shy or reserved.
Although habit is second nature, it is always possible to find a tactful approach to a non-phone man or woman. In the main, there is no need to make a mountain out of a molehill and think at once that no commitment to phone calls means disrespect to your relationships. First, express clearly your preference to phone conversations and see the return reaction.
Men should also remember that women are very sensitive about signs of interest, especially when the distance between you and her is thousands miles. Phone calls are among these signs of interest and a woman can feel offended, ignored or, at least, confused if you don’t phone her. Always bear in mind that women are more talkative and the following joke tells more of it.
The phone rings. A wife answers and speaks for about 30 minutes. When the conversation is over, her husband asks, “Who was over there?” “Someone dialed wrong number,” the wife replies.
What had people done before the telephone was invented? |
Phone Calls 
